10.  You hold a bake sale at your garage sale.

9.    Page 8 of your marketing plan says “take a nap.”

8.    Your sales staff is retired members of the Harlem Globetrotters.

7.    The slogan for your business is “Never-Ever-Profit-Land.”

6.    You bought your marketing plan template from the classified ad section of High Times.

5.   Your kid’s lemonade stand is out-grossing your store.

4.    You have a voice mail from the Government’s bailout director.

3.    Your customer service hotline number is 1-800 KISS-OFF.

2.    Employees play hide-and-seek with customers.

1.    Al Qaeda asks about joining your customer loyalty program.